"Baby One More Time" by Britney Spears
Synopsis: Tale of teenage sadomasochism.
Word Count
Baby: 27
Yeah: 3
Oh: 10
Ooh: 0
Love: 0
Heart: 0
Moment of Insanity: "When I’m not with you, I lose my mind."
Trite Lyric: "The reason I breathe is you."
No Comprendo: "Oh baby, baby, Ah, yeah, yeah."
Playin’ Games: N/A
Sexual Innuendo: "Hit me baby one more time."
"Bye, Bye, Bye" by ‘Nsync
Synopsis: Five guys break up with girl for cheating on them (presumably, with another boy band).
Word Count
Baby: 9
Yeah: 0
Oh: 4
Ooh: 4
Love: 2
Heart: 0
Moment of Insanity: "It might sound crazy, but it ain’t no lie."
Trite lyric: "I loved you endlessly."
No Comprendo: I comprendo everything about this song. It’s pretty straightforward.
Playin’ Games: "Just another player in your game for two."
Sexual Innuendo: N/A
"Candy" by Mandy Moore
Synopsis: Girl misses guy like she misses candy.
Word Count
Baby: 8
Yeah: 18
Oh: 4
Ooh: 4
Love: 2
Heart: 5
Moment of Insanity: "No doubt about it boy, got me feeling crazy."
Trite Lyric: "This feeling’s got me weak in the knees."
No Comprendo: "I’m missin’ you like candy."
Playin’ Games: "Can’t you hear me calling, begging you to come out and play."
Sexual Innuendo: Entire Song is an extended sexual metaphor.
Notes: I can only assume that Candy is a friend of hers since it wouldn’t make sense to miss a person like actual candy when there’s no reason that you have to miss candy in the first place--it’s readily available at any supermarket, liquor store, vending machine, etc. Unless, maybe, she gave up candy for Lent. But there’s no indication of that in the song.
"Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)" by Backstreet Boys
Synopsis: Insecure tyrant demands that everyone rock his/her body right while telling him that he’s sexual.
Word Count
Baby: 0
Yeah: 18
Oh: 0
Ooh: 0
Love: 0
Heart: 0
Moment of Insanity: Entire song
Trite Lyric: "Now throw your hands up in the air, wave ‘em around like you just don’t care."
No comprendo: Entire song
Playin’ Games: N/A
Sexual Innuendo: Entire song?
Notes: Uh, what?
"Irresistible" by Jessica Simpson
Synopsis: Girl in the midst of spiritual crisis.
Word Count
Baby: 1
Oh: 4
Ooh: 0
Yeah: 9
Love: 0
Heart: 1
Moment of Insanity: N/A (Though there is a sort of Hamlet-esque, mental back and forth going on.)
Trite Lyric: "When he makes me weak with desire."
No comprendo: "More than just physical, deeper than spiritual." (Is this a riddle?)
Playin’ Games: "Maybe I’ll tell him that I feel the same, that I don’t want to play no game."
Sexual Innuendo: N/A
Notes: I think this song is about Jesus.
Synopsis: Guy serenades his boner.
Word Count
Baby: 1
Oh: 2
Ooh: 0
Yeah: 1
Love: 7
Heart: 3
Moment of Insanity: Entire Song (Why would he stay with a girl he barely even likes when he’s clearly in love with this other woman (aka boner)?)
Trite Lyric: "I’ve got to be cruel to be kind."
No comprendo: "Like Doctor Zhivago, All my love I’ll be sending."
Playin’ Games: N/A
Sexual Innuendo: "The Hardest Thing"/ "’Cause there can be no happy ending."
Notes: Like Doctor Zhivago, this song was adapted into a movie called Doctor Zhivago.
"Say My Name" by Destiny’s Child
Synopsis: Girl thinks guy is cheating because (1) he won’t say her name (2) he won’t say that he loves her and (3) she can hear him having sex with another woman every time she talks to him on the phone.
Word Count
Baby: 21
Oh: 1
Ooh: 0
Yeah: 43 (roughly)
Yeah: 43 (roughly)
Love: 10
Heart: 0
Moment of Insanity: N/A
Trite Lyric: N/A (This song is brilliant from start to finish).
No Comprendo: I comprendo everything especially the 43 "yeahs."
Playin’ Games: "If you ain’t runnin’ game, say my name, say my name."
Sexual Innuendo: N/A
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